Previously we discussed about how our dark side may lead to extreme behaviors and the impact of imbalanced leadership behaviors. After becoming aware of the dark side, we would therefore want to learn and control our dark side. This learning process would take conscious self-regulation effort.
Self-regulation - an inside-out effort
Self-regulation is a process which people attempt to constrain unwanted urges in order to give controlled and preferred response. In our case, we want to control the behaviors from our dark traits in order to be effective. Doing so requires conscious effort from two aspects. We need to devise effective self-regulation strategies and standards, holding ourselves accountable for them. This could be considered as external work and would be covered in our next blog.
Another aspect would be the internal work of strengthening our capacity for self-regulation which, regardless of how effective your strategies are, could be the key to success or failure of self-regulation efforts.
One example of self-regulation would be on losing weight. We all know the ingredients for success - healthy diet and regular exercise. This is the self-regulation strategy. The standard is straight-forward, let's say losing 10 pounds in half-year (doesn’t seem too hard huh?). Yet the real challenge comes when somewhere along the road, you feel a loss in momentum. Your friends may invite you for dinner and order dangerously attractive food, rainy weekends became perfect excuses to skip your daily jogs, tough work days make you feel like you should reward yourself a frozen yogurt. At this moment, what keeps you going? Your self-regulation capacity - willpower and motivation.
Willpower - your internal energy
Trying to change the self is difficult and energy consuming - willpower is the internal energy that is being consumed. This energy pool is not only fictional - studies showed that engaging in energy depleting activities actually consumes blood glucose, which is the principal energy fuel for the brain. This could be understood as a representation of how willpower is being drained. Numerous studies established that self-regulatory tasks such as changing the self or making difficult decisions drain a person's willpower. Depletion of such positive energy in one domain impairs the person's performance in other domains, thus lowering the productivity of the person.
Yet, self-regulation is not a zero-sum game. Research discovered that our perception of willpower significantly affects how we perceive the depletion. When we perceive our willpower as abundant and limitless, the drain on energy from depleting tasks becomes minimal. However, if we perceive our willpower as limited, we are more susceptible to energy depletion and perceived exhaustion.
It doesn't mean we need to brainwash ourselves that we possess unlimited willpower - this thought itself already feels draining. This is when another factor comes into play - motivation.
Motivation - powerhouse that keeps you going
At this setting, motivation could be understood as how much we care about reaching the desired goal. When we care about our goal enough, it creates drive that is strong enough to compensate for a lower level of willpower. The key here is not the motivation itself, it's how much we care about it, and how likely we could get what we want through action. Everyone's motivation is unique, and some of the motivations could be subconscious and unknown even to the self.
With a motivation strongly linked with self-regulation, even though the self-regulation activity is still depleting, motivation compensates for the willpower depletion such that the individual does not perceive exhaustion. In other words, relevant motivation keeps us going even when it is challenging.
To properly manage our dark traits, we need to first understand how such dark traits impacted you, and why you care about it. Once these are made crystal clear, we could then move on to work on self-regulatory standards and strategies.
Understanding about your dark traits and motivation could be tricky and requires a lot of in-depth reflection. Project Timeout could provide relevant assessment tools and coaching services to support you along the journey. Reach out to us for a chat.
References
Baumeister, R.F., Heatherton, T.F. & Tice, D.M. (1994). Losing Control: How and Why People Fail at Self-Regulation. San Diego, CA: Academic Press.
Baumeister, R.F. & Vohs, K.D. (2007). Self-Regulation, Ego Depletion, and Motivation. Social and Personality Psychology Compass, 1(1), 115-128.
Deng, H., Coyle-Shapiro, J. & Yang, Q. (2018). Beyond Reciprocity: A Conservation of Resources View on the Effects of Psychological Contract Violation on Third Parties. Journal of Applied Psychology, 103(5), 561-577.
Job, V., Dweck, C.S., & Walton, G.M. (2010). Ego Depletion - Is It All in Your Head? Implicit Theories About Willpower Affect Self-Regulation. Psychological Science, 21(11), 1686-1693.
Kaiser, R.B., LeBreton, J.M. & Hogan, J. (2015). The Dark Side of Personality and Extreme Leader Behavior. Applied Psychology, 64(1), 55-92.
댓글